
Week 14 & 15 kind of go together...Dealing with my part of the problem and dealing with the other persons. Not the easiest of topics!
There was an extremly large amount of info in these two sessions. I am going to try to simplify things and mention only the things that really struck me. I'm sure I'm leaving holes! Again, I highly recommend you go through this course yourself or with a group of friends, family or church class! It comes with DVD's, a workbook (for teacher or one student), print outs with a simplified outline for a class & mp3's. The women in our church were really challanged & encouraged by the study...the men will start going through it this fall.
Anyway, here are some major points for me to remove my side of the problem...
*Reconciliation is not just back to talking terms. Way more! They will know we are Christians by our love!
*"I'm sorry" or "I apologize" doesn't cut it...you really need to name the sin and own up to it...none of this "if I..." stuff!
*Don't just ask forgiveness for the surface problem (attitude) but get down to the underlying problem (self-centeredness)
*Make it hard to do this sin again...Berg calls it radical amputation...I like that!
Here are a few points on dealing with the other persons sin...
*Surrender the outcome to God and show kindness BEFORE you rebuke in meekness. We often want to rebuke first. If the person is unsaved, you certainly want to handle things in a way to not jeapordize your testimony
*You can't forgive someone before they ask! The whole purpose is for both parties to be right with God and men. If you forgive them, you have taken away some of the pressure for them to get it right.
*Examples of good rebuke...God & Cain, Abigail & David, David & Saul, Nathan & David
*Forgive! - Matt 18 says you will be delivered to tormentors if you are not able to forgive!
Remember this happens in our families all the time. Am I teaching my children to go through these steps or do I just seperate them until they calm down? or until I calm down?!?!? Also, we often we treat our kids/teens in a way we would never treat others. We want to bring them to repentance not to make them pay but to help them grow.
Two resources I have enjoyed to help with my children are "The Young Peacemakers" and Doorposts chart "Brother Offended Checklist." I really need to get these back out!
Off to dig out that chart...I have a feeling we will need it before the weekend is over!